There come situations in your life when you start questioning the very basic moral principls that have been ingrained in you since even before you could learn to walk, speak, etc. Among them is the principle "Do Good unto others"... Should we really always do good unto others?
This came up in a discussion between me and Nikunj, one of my best friends, yesterday. He says that one should do good unto others because in the long run that is the most beneficial of options available. But he adds a disclaimer that before doing good you should be able to decide whether the person deserves to be treated well. Well, the next question then is how do u judge that when you meet the person or even when you meet over an extended period of time.
Suppose you meet a thief (of course you don't know he/she is a thief till the person does the act) and since the poor destitute on the streets you decide to bring him home and provide him some work. Now you have been good to him and most likely till this point the person has done everything that falls within your purview of things that good people usually do, i.e. like being polite, even politely refusing your offer once, etc. Now once the person does the theft, would you be able to bring any other destitute to your home for shelter. The theft here is purely symbolical and could mean material theft or theft in any other form.
Another example, you meet someone on the street who has just tried slitting his/her wrist not knowing that you are there and have watched her. What would be your reaction? Of course, try and help him/her and prevent the person from committing suicide. Now for the person's safety you decide to bring him/her home and provide shelter for some time. As the person comes back to the right senses and realises how you saved his/her life, you develop a sort of bond with the person. Now, going forward, if this person's actions and lifestyle are self-destructive then what would you feel. Wouldn't you startto question whether your action was good/bad for the person in the first place itself?
Also, a lot many times in life, someone out of nowhere comes as a knight in shining armor in your life and helps you out where you expected no help to come. he/she is someone just like you when it comes to being good to others. This person's actions are the cause of the dilemma I am talking about. If no one tried to do good unto others then the world woould be a very sad, lonely place. But then the sadness and loneliness that you face when you see that in spite of your good actions the same persons betrayed your trust and faith in humanity, then what do you do?
I am leaving this as an open post for more discussion with other learned folks who read this.
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4 comments:
What I feel is that, the feeling you get in playing the role of ‘the knight in the shining armor’ for the destitute is enough to make you happy about yourself. And lending your helping hand with some expectations is one thing and that without any expectation is another. But since for the latter case we need to attain sainthood, its better to play your role and then look for your ‘knight in shining armor’ to play his role, when the need arises. I believe that everything in life is balanced to a certain extent. It’s like a boomerang. What you give to others will definitely come back to you, be it joy or sorrow. Just the medium changes....
...on my way towards salvation :)wat say?
About the doing good part: There is no fool-proof way of ascertaining who would benefit, if at all. But it should be a best-effort deal to find out who to help. If you decide the person is good, it should be a best-effort deal to help him/her. All of life is that way. When was the last time you made a decision while having complete information required to make a correct one? Dimaag chhota hai, duniyaa bahut baree =). Lekin bheje pey zor poora daalo. And leave it there.
Who is satisfied by the knight in a shining armor? The knight himself, or the damsel in distress? Both. The knight gets to act like a knight, and damsel gets her help. Both are helping themselves. So, the first question, and the most important one of all is: WHY, did the man feel like acting like a knight. Did the knight think twice before he helped the damsel. No. But he _would_ think twice before doing some other good deeds. There's an infinity of good to be done, and infinitely many people out here. So why is the knight concerned so much about one such? If there's an asymmetry in one's emotional responses, the reasons need to be found first, for their own sake. They may turn out to be right, or they may be wrong. Who knows, except the knight himself.
Our relationships with friends and enemies are simply mirrors that tell us a lot about ourselves, if one chooses to use them such. And to do any such inquiry, first, one needs to relax. Without a relaxed mind, it is impossible to come to any firm conclusions. An agitated mind only performs emotional whiplashes.
@ Nikunj
Can't agree more with you and thanks for highlighting the parts of the conversation with you which I forgot... especially the last part about the friends and enemies being a reflection of ones own self...
My rule (though with all the flexibility of modifications ;) ) is to do good with truly selfish motive. Its like in one of the episodes of 'FRIENDS' where Joey says 'there is no selfless good deed'.
I feel good when I do good.
Even when deceived, I have nothing against myself, cause I did what I thought was right. The next time for the same person / situation may be I would not be good, maybe I would be apprehensive about helping, maybe I'll make him/her pay back for what he did to me. But I'll probably learn from the experience and absorb, analyze and implement it in my further actions.
But if I get an opportunity to do good, again, I'll not miss it.
Hell ! I am an eternal selfish optimist ! :D
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